Songs For The Broken
by The Forever Young One
Summary: A series of oneshots dealing with ZelosxLloyd. Some may be AU's. ITS ALL SONGFICS! SMALL SHONEN-AI! BEWARE!
1. Lies

**Songs For the Broken**

**_Ch. 1: Lies_**

_**SilverMoon: **Hello again! I am here and on your computer screen with a new fanfiction!!  
**Lloyd:** -bored- Yay....  
**Me:** What's up with you? Go...read a book or something!  
**Lloyd:** -yawns and nods- Okay...-walks out-  
**Me:** Erm...okay? Uh..Kratos...say the disclaimer.  
**Kratos:** SilverMoon doesn't own ToS or Namco.  
**Me:** Onto le story!!_

_**Warning: **Extremely bad writing and spelling (I didn't bother spell checking this) and emoness (sorta..)!!!_

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_**Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again**_

Scream.

That's what he wanted to do. Scream.

He hated everything. He hated everyone. Things were going so good! Everyone was happy because they could finally save Colette and get what they needed. But the stupid idiot Chosen, Zelos, had to go and betray them.

He went to his bed in the inn and threw his face into a pillow and screamed. As loud as he wanted to, he screamed. Tears were welling up in his eyes and spilling over, soaking the pillow. He didn't care though. He wanted to do something. Stab something. Kill something. But he knew he couldn't.

**_You will never be strong enough  
You will never be good enough  
You were never concieved in love  
You will not rise above_**

He remembered the smirk on his face as his eyes closed, falling into unconciousness.

He remembered the smirk he used to give whenever he was happy or cheerful. He was the only one who had ever listened to him. And Lloyd was the only one who Zelos had ever shown his true smile to.

But it was a lie. Zelos never loved him. He knew that for a fact.

**_They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me_**

He stood up and through the pillow against the wall. He had to stop sulking. He had to be happy and smile for everyones sake. But even though he knew that, he couldn't shake the image of Zelos' smirk from his mind.

He felt his eyes burn as he wiped his dirty glove across his face to rid it of tears. He hadn't cleaned his clothes since the battle. He didn't want to destroy any scent of Zelos that still lingered.

**_But through my tears breaks a blinding light  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night  
Arms outstretched awaiting me  
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree_**

He hadn't noticed he had started crying again until he felt the tears trickle down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away and wandered back to his bed.

He sat down and pulled his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

--

When his eyes opened again, moonlight was filtering in through the windows. He stretched his arms, realizing that he had fallen asleep in the same postition he was in before.

He hadn't heard him enter, but nonetheless, he had.

When Lloyd was looking around his room for his swords, he saw a shadow behind him, and immediantely tensed. For a few seconds, silence filled the air.

Then, "Lloyd..."

He knew that voice. It was _his _voice. He glared at the wall. "What do you want?"

He felt two strong arms wrap themselves around him from behind. He struggled, trying to get away from the familiar embrace. He jabbed his elbow backwards in an attempt to knock the angel backwards. But became frustrated when his arm was caught by a gloved hand.

**_Rest in me and I'll comfort you_**  
**_I have lived and died for you  
Abide in me and I vow to you  
I will never forsake you_**

Finally, Lloyd gave in. Tears streaming down his cheeks, only to be stopped by a finger wiping them away. "Why..." A question that had been flowing through his mind since the incident. "Why did you betray me..?" He chocked out.

"I-"

"Were they all lies? Everything you said to me, was it a lie?" Lloyd said, pushing himself out of the warm embrace. He turned to face Zelos, tears running freely and falling to the carpet.

"Lloyd..."

"You know how much I've been through! I've told you!" Lloyd was almost to hysterics now. His mask was broken. Like it always was around Zelos. "You should know more than anyone else!"

"Lloyd." Zelos said, more firmly this time.

But Lloyd couldn't stop. Once it was shattered, his mask wouldn't go back until everything was let out. "I was lied to before! I was left before! You knew!" He shouted, voice horse from crying and screaming. He stepped back to the wall and slid down to the floor. "You knew...."

Once again, he felt the same arms around him.

**_They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me_**

He opened his eyes to see Zelos' red hair. It smelt the same as it always did. Unconsciously, he grinned slightly.

"Lloyd..everything I've told you. Everything I've said. It was all true. I promise you that." Zelos said, hugging Lloyd tighter.

Lloyd felt wetness on his shoulder and realized Zelos was crying. He rubbed the chosens back and buried his face in his hair, enjoying the familiar scent of apples and strawberries.

"Then why?" Lloyd asked, "Why did you betray me?"

"I...I had to. To do something for you." Zelos said, drying his face and pulling back from Lloyd. "But before you ask, I can't tell you what it is yet. I'll tell you when we meet again."

Their eyes met, cerulean blue clashing with chocolate brown.

And then, he was gone. Like he wasn't even there in the first place.

**_They'll never see  
I'll never be  
I struggle on and on to feed this hunger  
Burning deep inside of me_**

Lloyd felt his eyes wetten again and stopped the tears before they could spill over onto his face. He heard his door creak open slightly to see Genis poking his head in.

"Lloyd...are you okay?"

"Yeah Genis. I'm fine."

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_**Me:** I know, I know, it was short! I'm sorry!! But that's were the song ended so I had to end it there...sorry.  
**Kratos:** ...May I leave?  
**Me:** ...-shrugs-  
**Kratos:** -walks out-  
**Me:** Um...somebody?  
-silence-  
**Me:** Anybody?  
**Yuan:** You rang?  
**Me:** Erm...hi...I don't think you've ever been on here before!  
**Yuan:** Nope...  
**Lloyd:** You like my dad don't you?  
**Yuan:** NO!! -runs away while pictures of YuanxKratos fanart fly out behind him-  
**Lloyd:** -sighs-  
**Me:** Review and you'll get a cookie!!  
**Lloyd:** Word count was...-drumroll- 1,354...yay..._


	2. Give Me A Sign

_**Ch. 2: Give Me A Sign**_

_**SilverMoon:** Hey dudes! I've got ideas for this story. But basically its a story that I let out all my songfic ideas for Zelos and Lloyd. :D  
**Lloyd:** Weirdo...  
**Me:** Whatever. So...disclaim me.  
**Lloyd:** SilverMoon doesn't own ToS or Namco. She also doesn't own Breaking Benjamin or Give Me A Sign. Goodbye. -leaves-  
**Me:** FINE BE THAT WAY!! Onto the story. Sorry if it makes you cry. And its a bit of an AU. Not much though. It just kind of implies it._

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_**Dead star shine,  
Light up the sky.  
I'm all out of breath  
My walls are closing in.**_

Lloyd sat with tearstained cheeks. In his hand a picture of a redhead. He clutched it harder as another sob ripped lose from his throat. Another wave of tears streamed freely down his cheeks. Once again, he was left in a vulnerable position. "Why...?" He murmered, cluctching the picture to the point where it began to crinkle.

Outside, stars were shining. The moon was the brightest of all. A group of clouds emerged from the bind spot of the window. Lloyd glanced up and glared, "How come you're so peacful? There's no reason to be happy!" His voice by the end of this speech was at full volume. He could tell that his neighbors would be angry so he made an attempt to quiet down.

He looked back at the picture and chocked out a sob. "Damn you. Why did you have to go and leave me here alone?" Tears once again were running freely down his face. He still remembered the day of his lovers funeral.

_**Days go by,  
Give me a sign.  
Come back to the end,  
Shepard of the damned.**_

_He sat beside his lovers' casket, sobbing into the wooden surface. His friends were gathered around him, watching with sad eyes. Rain had begun to fall on the group. Lloyd looked up and sobbed some more. He removed his jacket and placed it over the redhead in the casket, "There. Now you won't get wet."_

_His best friend, Genis, placed a small hand on his shoulder, "Do you want some time alone?" Recieving a nod, the party left the sobbing brunette on his own. _

_"Zelos....Zelos why did you go? You could've fought harder. I could've been there more instead of at work. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry please come back! Its all my fault! I know it is!! But please just....just come back to me!!" Lloyd shouted, eyes to the sky as if hoping to see Zelos' soul floating back down to him. Waiting for warm arms to reach up and embrace him like they used to. But none of that would happen. His hopes were crushed._

**_I can feel you falling away._**

The volumes of Lloyd's sobs increased. He sat, curled in a ball and hugging the picture of Zelos to his chest. The pain, it was unbearable. He couldn't last much longer. It was too hard. "Zelos...where are you? Why don't you answer me? Have you forgotten me?! Us?!" He slammed his fist down on the bed, becoming hysterical.

**_No longer lost,  
No longer the same,  
And I can see you starting to break._**

He stood, walked out of his bedroom and into the living room. Grabbing his coat and keys, he exited the house, locking the door behind him. The night air was cool on his warm and tearstained face.

Lloyd got into the car and started it. Not bothering to put on a seatbelt, he backed out of the driveway and onto the main road. He felt reckless, like he could do anything and be unharmed. The feeling was exhilarating. Speeding up down the street, he decided on his location. It was a place he hadn't been in a while. The pain was too much to go _there_ yet. But now he felt as if he could do it.

**_I'll keep you alive,  
If you show me the way.  
Forever - and ever,  
The scars will remain._**

Entering the cemetary was probably the hardest part. It felt like a part of him was just screaming for him to go back. But there was no going back now. He was too far in to back out. It was his mission to do this.

Driving to the spot was an unconcious act. He had memorized where the grave was, never wanting to forget the final resting place of...of...._him. _He felt worthless. He couldn't even call Zelos his...

The tears were back. His eyes becoming blurry. Luckily he had reached the spot. He pulled off to the side and put the car in park. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back and sighed.

**_I'm falling apart,  
Leave me here forever in the dark._**

**_Daylight dies,  
Blackout the sky._**

Stepping out of the car, he found the stone right in front of him. It read: Wilder. Of course, that was _his _last name. Also, it was Lloyd's last name now too. After all, they had been married.

Unconciously, his finger went to caress the wedding ring on his finger.

He went to the grave and kneeled in front of it. His eyes closed and he rested his head against the cool stone. He could feel himself losing it, his facade. The crying he had done earlier was nothing compared to what he was holding back. And doing just that was become a hard task. He couldn't hold it for much longer.

**_Is anyone there?  
Does anyone care?  
Take this life,  
Empty inside.  
I'm already dead,  
I rise to fall again._**

It was breaking, and he knew it. The emptyness in his heart was slowling spreading, like a disease throughout his whole body. It was worthless, the fight he was putting up. Decision made, he let it loose.

**_I can feel you falling away_**

Sobs racked his body, like a million bullets hitting him all at once, and the guns being fired over and over. His throat was horse from the previous times. But he couldn't hold it back.

The moon seemed to illuminate the whole graveyard, casting an eerie glow. Moonlight reflected off the marble stones, making it seem as if the spirits were there, with Lloyd. Like Zelos was there with him. But he knew that he wasn't.

"Zelos...I miss you so much...I just can't take this pain, this longing, this lonliness. I can't handle it. I thought I could, but I'm weak, worthless. That's why you left me, isn't it? Don't worry, I understand...." He no longer cared if he was going to get a reply or not, he just wanted to vent. And this was how he planned to do it.

**_God help me I've come undone,  
Out of the light of the sun._**

It was getting cold out. A chill ran down his spine and he shivered. He remembered he had left his jacket in the car. But he didn't care. His life no longer mattered to him. Nothing did. Not without Zelos. Without Zelos, even the task of living was pointless.

"Zelos....loosing you...that was my punishment, for trying to love someone again. First Colette, now you...I'm sorry. I've failed you. I've failed everyone. I'm sorry..." His mutterings were nothing but an afterthought now. What he was focusing on was the picture in his hands. The same picture from before.

He turned it over, on the back was a note that he'd read many times before.

_Lloyd,_

_If you're reading this, then it means I've lost my battle with my disease. Don't think its your fault, I'm just a coward who runs away from challenges. Just remember, I love you. I always will. Don't forget that. _

_Yours forever and always,  
Zelos_

_PS: I'm always with you. Promise._

Lloyd put his hand to his mouth and rested his hand upon the stone once again. Tears were streaming down his face. Sobs were forming in his throat, but no sound would come out, just a chocked noise.

**_No longer lost,  
No longer the same.  
And I can feel you starting to break.  
I'll keep you alive,  
If you show me the way._**

"Zelos..." Lloyd mumbled. He could almost see him now, surrounded by a beautiful golden light. His hand was outstretched, a happy smile etched on his face. "Zelos..." He realized now that it was freezing out. His body was shivering uncontrolably. Wrapping his arms around himself, he continued to sit by the grave.

It felt like hours, just sitting there, waiting for a sign. Something to tell him that it was okay to leave. That it was okay for him to still be on this earth. And still, nothing came. No sign. No nothing besides the cold breeze.

"Zelos...it is my fault. If only I had taken more days off work. If only I had been there more, then you would've had more courage to face the challenge in front of you. Zelos....I'm sorry. I've apologized so much...it doesn't help the fact that your blood is on my hands...." Llody curled in to a ball in front of the grave marked 'Wilder'. "I love you too Zelos..." He muttered.

**_Forever - and ever.  
The scars will remain.  
Give me a sign,  
Theres something buried in the words._**

His eyes slowly closed, and his breathing evened. Puffs of steam were coming from his mouth and he shivered occasionally, but he was asleep.

After a while, his eyes wearily opened, and he saw a bright light. Then, he felt warm arms embracing him, like Zelos's. He smiled to himself, looking up to see a pair of cornflower blue eyes staring back at him.

"Hey bud."

"I missed you."

"I know. Its time to go."

"Okay."

Two golden figures faded into the shadows of the cemetary.

**_Give me a sign,  
Your tears adding to the flood._**

When they found him, his body had been frozen stiff. His eyes were fixed on something that they couldn't see. But his mouth, his mouth was curved into a smile.

"At least he was happy." One of them said, with a sad smile.

**_For ever - and ever,  
The scars will remain._**

**_

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_**

_**Me:** So, did you like it?  
**Lloyd:** -sob- It was so horrible it made me cry.  
**Me:** Back to your usual mean self I see. Well, FYI, I cried while writing this so shut up.  
**Lloyd:** WIMP!!  
**Me:** Anyways, you readers should review and tell me how much you liked it.  
**Lloyd:** Wordcount?  
**Me:** Sure...  
**Lloyd:** Wordcount was.....-drumroll- 2,052! Not congratulations!  
**Me:** Review and you'll get a Breaking Benjamin cookie!!_


End file.
